i wrote this awhile on a bus back home- i never felt God's love in a more tangible, realistic way. it didn't seem appropriate to post this back then, but looking back, it's been a whole month and these words have never been clearer. i feel as though God has been revealing His love to me like never before. in a way, he has set me on a road of adventure- every few days, i bump into thoughtful moments that help me better understand the love of God. and with every one, i am aching, swelling daily, for an encounter with God in a life-altering, earth-shaking kind of way.

"the lamp of God had not yet gone out, and Samuel was lying down in the house of the Lord, where the ark was." 1 Samuel 3:3

oh Lord, how i long to lie in Your presence like Samuel, just to be with you, just to have all of you. to know You as my God and my everything. to watch my fears and hopes melt away right before my eyes as i fix my gaze upon Your face. there is nothing more that i could ever want. even as i am sitting here, on a stuffy humid night after a long turbulent day, God there is nothing that makes my heart leap for joy but the thought of You. there is nothing that causes my chest to swell and threaten to explode but the knowledge that there is a God, bigger than me, bigger than my emotions, bigger than the universe, that loves me. that pursues me; that couldn't stand eternity without me.

Father, there is no one in the world that i could want more. there is no one in the world that could still my wandering heart. there is no one in this world that i could long for more than You. this life You know is Yours and this heart pulses for You alone. all i ask is for a moment to lie in your courts like samuel, that i may never forget how it is like to be with You. that for the rest of my days, i may look forward to the day i meet You face to face again. oh Lord, my heart explodes with longing.

You know Your servant inside and out, what more can i say?