the world around us shifts and suddenly we are back in my room years ago on a cold, stormy night- the room is illuminated sporadically with the light from outside. With the wind howling and curtains dancing; You whisper in a voice clear even through the ruckus from outside. 

That was Me.

I am brought back to a long long time ago; a series of nights where I was cold on the inside and bitter about everything. I wore my sin in a burdensome duffle bag and lugged it wherever I went. Everyday I trudged through life with discontent and hurt, scraping my knees over and over because i had prayed one too many times in the dirt and grime. And just one stormy night where the wind was howling and the curtains were dancing, I fell asleep against a pillow that felt like the sea, with a heart that was heavy with lead. In the midst of uncomfortable shifting and recurring nightmares, I zipped out of sleep and into consciousness. There, I heard a voice speak, clear, over the chaos:

Nothing you ever say or do will make Me love you less

Right there and then, at the core of my pain and torment, a series of electrifying jolts raced from my chest, where my heart lay, to the ends of my limbs. I was shaken from the inside out with a tangible force that no logical explanation could contain. Waves after waves, it crashed through me and seeped into my soul. 

That night I fell asleep against a pillow that felt like the sea, in the midst of loud crackling thunder and flashing light. But that night I drifted to sleep with a heart that shone. Somehow, the lightning had gotten inside- navigated its way under my skin, to all the right pockets of emptiness and filled them whole.

That was You. I've always known. 

and now, I will always remember.