my writing is real, have i ever mentioned that? i don't want to censor things like i should because this is a piece of me and i don't want to deny who i am in this space, especially. is that okay with you guys?

these are my thoughts on my favourite verse in the bible, Psalm 139:18 "when I awake; I am still with You."

Months ago, i zipped out of sleep one lazy evening and found myself sprawled on the mattress on your bedroom floor, looking dreamy-eyed at the boy who meant the world to me. The disappearing sun bathed all that i could see in blue- your knotted limbs and blankets, your eyelashes dancing as they always do- and in that moment, i thought to myself that waking up next to someone you love is possibly the most beautiful thing in the entire world.

This must be how it feels like every single morning in the presence of the One whom i love beyond myself. i want to open my eyes every morning till the end of time and see that You're still the most beautiful thing in the universe. This verse promises that just as a husband is there in the morning by his wife's side, so are You by mine- Your very presence an emblem of protection and trust, Your warmth my only reason to hope and Your love, the very thing that compels my broken soul to keep living on.

it's been a difficult week- i feel like my heart has been shredded and strewn all over the place. yet God is still here with me, He is my reason to sing, to laugh, to get on my knees to pray. He gives me so much inspiration to keep writing and so much drive to keep striving for better. i am thoroughly blessed in my weakness.

(also, how could i ever thank Him more for this God-sent woman that has been nothing but the anchor to my dreams) met up with the bro after forever and talked for like what 4 hours straight over fries and starbucks. we've been so far apart for so long but it still puzzles me as to how much i love spending time with her, our conversations ranging from absolute rubbish to really deep stuff (no in between lol) we gotta stay together for the kids bro; we gotta stay together for our dreams.