October/ November 2015

i. Turned twenty with the best people surrounding me all day, couldn't have asked for more. Birthdays are good days to sit back and look at life in retrospect / a curiously good time to see friendships come, go and stay. Things have changed drastically since I could remember, people are growing up, moving away and sometimes I still feel like the same 15 year old girl, chasing the same dreams with the same fire blazing in my chest. Life moves by fast.  

ii. School has been.. Brutal. In a sem alone I don't think I have felt so.. Unsure of who I am as a designer or where I stand in my own work. But here is a big shoutout to my twin nigga, who grounds me, teaches me everything i need to know about design and literally saves my ass all the time with shortcuts and lazy ways to make things work. Excited for the next sem- in the mean time, am desperately creating more and more, finding a style that best represents me. Feeling pretty pumped, really! (-:

iii. Emotions r shit 

iv. But God is so good and merciful / I am falling deeper and deeper in love everyday: His word is always so sweet to my soul and recently, I have found so much freedom in filling my heart with needs aside from my own. I think it's easy to want to fix/ deal with personal problems first, but I think I am learning Matt 6:33 in a new and fresh way these couple of days. Simply put, take care of the Father's business and He will take care of yours. Don't let your brokenness stop you from giving what you have to serve. This is the beauty of our relationship with Christ- He sets his treasure in jars of clay. Imagine if as jars of clay, as broken and sinful as we may be, we let our worth be defined by our broken exterior. The world will never know of the treasure Christ has put in each of us. I am learning to be a broken vessel and a jar of clay everyday. 

Regardless, somedays are bad and some days are good. This constant, inconsistency is giving me a splitting headache. But still holding on. Learning to surrender and serve, learning to relearn grace, learning to see the Hand of God upon my life amidst confusion and His Light shine brighter in deepening, darkening nights. 

Breakthrough should be anytime now.