tonight i am writing from my mac and it feels terrific. this means that i made time, this means i am digging deep, and digging deep makes me so insanely happy. 

this year has flown by. in my mind, it feels so much like time stopped somewhere in march, where i have fallen asleep and just woken up in september. i like looking back on days. makes me feel like i've come a long way. 

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recently we started on a book project in editorial design on redefining the book. somehow my research and concept led me to read poems, and i realised just how much i don't read anymore. which pains me to realise because it used to be everything to me; they used to make me feel so much on nights like tonight. when the world has gone to sleep and it is quiet, there would be just one night light still burning, small but bright. and inside of me i am feeling so much, i am crashing and burning, my chest would always feel so heavy, so weighted. the world would be drifting into sleep, but there would be war within me— myself pushing against myself, thoughts against thoughts, head against heart. it is the most magical thing to feel. and im glad i am feeling this way again tonight, it is what i need. it is different and disturbing at times, but it is refreshing.

the recent few weeks have not been the easiest of weeks. so many things are happening all around me, urging something to change inside me. and there is nothing more frustrating, nothing more tiring than to not be able to let my guard down and breathe. it feels like the enemy is fighting hard and I'm almost at breaking point. but He is who He is, and there are people in this season that have been here in an impossible way, praying with me, encouraging me, holding me up when i can't seem to stand. 

i am overflowing with thankfulness: for the ones who have sown into my life when i have no use to you, for those who pray for me and for the needs that i don't even have the strength to pray about and for those who know everything without me even saying anything

yall the real mvps, you know who you are x